©InfoWhen Kalia, 20, married the man she loved, she didn’t realise what was in store for her. To begin with, her in-laws were not thrilled at the marriage, saying Kalia came from an uneducated family and could not bring her husband anything.
However when Kalia became pregnant they were forced to accept her and she went to live with them. Kalia married her husband through a Muslim ceremony but her husband did not register the marriage officially.
It is common practice in rural Kyrgyzstan that young couples are married under this traditional ‘nike’ ceremony – a religious ritual carried out by the local mullah with no legal standing. It is one of the major factors contributing to increasing vulnerability of young women in Kyrgyzstan.
Domestic violence
©InfoKalia’s marriage only lasted two months. “He started beating me,” she says. “He beat me black and blue, not caring that I was pregnant.”
When Kalia could bear the beatings no longer and afraid for her unborn child’s life, she asked her parents to rescue her.
When her mother saw Kalia, black and blue and washing her in-laws’ laundry with swollen hands, she was horrified and took her daughter back home. Kalia gave birth there and her baby, Nurgeldy, is now eight months old.
Kalia says: “He was never violent when we were dating, but as soon as I was living with his family, his mother started complaining about me. I had to do all of the housework and look after her, but she still encouraged my husband to beat me.
Struggling to survive
“I have lost all feeling for him now. I heard that his family is planning to kidnap me because they don’t have money to look for a new wife, but I will not go back to him. I am not scared any more because I have the support of my family.”
Kalia is now struggling to survive as she lives with her elderly parents and five sisters and brothers, but the only income the family has is the parents’ pensions.
Kalia receives no alimony from her husband because they are not registered as married and her son does not even have a birth certificate as his father refuses to give him his name.
Red Crescent support
Jamilya, a Red Crescent volunteer, heard about Kalia’s story and now visits her, encouraging her to get involved in one of the Red Crescent’s vocational training courses for vulnerable women. Kalia is now hoping to earn a living after learning sewing skills, which are in demand in her area.
Jamilya is campaigning to raise awareness about the perils of unregistered marriages. She says: “Stories like Kalia’s can be found in most families around here. Official registration would help protect women because they would be guaranteed a birth certificate for their children, alimony and shared ownership of property. Kalia has nothing to show from her marriage except bruises and nightmares.”
Kalia says: “I will educate my son to treat women as equals and never to fight with them. When my sisters get married I hope they will be happier than I have been. Maybe I will get married again – who knows what the future holds. For the moment I don’t have time to think about these things. I have to work hard to survive here, but at least no one is constantly observing me or beating me for no reason.”
*name changed
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