This assembly kit provides a way of raising and exploring death, bereavement and grief with children and young people. The main focus is a drama performance that can be read or acted out by students.

To use this assembly kit, simply copy the script for your actors. Decide who is going to play each part, and have a read through or rehearsal. To get more out of the exercise, encourage students to think through and plan all aspects of the performance. Use the add-ons to prepare for the assembly and to enhance the performance.

The follow-up activities are designed to help smaller groups of students explore the issues raised in the assembly in more detail.

A teacher briefing on bereavement gives teachers and other educators background information. Please share this with colleagues so they are prepared for discussions with students after the assembly.

Download the assembly kit as a PDF or a Word document or continue reading this page.

Age group

Aims

• To create an atmosphere in which children and young people can explore a taboo subject and ask questions or seek support
• To improve students’ understanding of their own feelings should they experience bereavement
• To help students empathise with people who have been bereaved, and to show ways in which they can support that person
• To help students understand that bereavement is a potentially long process with different stages.

Performance

The performance has four sections.

• Part one is a drama involving four characters. 
• Part two is a quick summing up of the drama by a narrator with audience participation. It is optional. 
• In part three, the characters tell the audience their thoughts and feelings about what happens in the drama. 
• Finally, in part four, there is an optional round-up discussion with audience participation.

Go through the script with students and encourage them to express their thoughts and feelings about it. Make sure they feel comfortable with the words and ideas, and feel free to adapt the language to suit students’ age, maturity, interests and ways of expressing themselves.

Bereavement is a sensitive topic, which some students may find upsetting. Allow them time to talk through the material in depth before performing it, or to opt out altogether.

Make sure that your narrator feels confident enough to handle parts two and four, or you may like to let an adult handle these. Make a note of students’ responses during these sections to follow up on later.

> Part one
Narrator
It’s an ordinary Monday morning at school. Rachel and Andy are waiting for their teacher, Mrs Peters, to arrive.

[Two students, Rachel and Andy, enter the stage. They sit at their desks and get some books out of their bags.]
Rachel
Hi Andy! How’s it going?

Andy
All right. You?

Rachel
Yeah, good. What did you do at the weekend?

Andy
I went to a party at Lucy’s house on Saturday but it wasn’t that good. You?

Rachel
Nothing much, it was a pretty boring weekend. You could have told me about the party though. [They look at the empty third desk.] Hey, have you seen Dave recently?

Andy
Yeah, I saw him at Lucy’s but I didn’t really speak to him. Why?

Rachel
I don’t think he was in at all last week. Maybe he decided to take a holiday.
[They giggle. Dave enters. He doesn’t look at them or say anything, just sits down at his desk, turns away and starts rummaging in his bag.]

Andy
What’s up with you?

Rachel
Yeah! What happened to saying hello? And where have you been lately anyway? Skiver!
[Dave has put his head and hands on his desk, hiding his face.]

Andy
Come on, Dave! [Gives Dave a playful push] Are you asleep or what?

Dave
Get off, will you? Just leave me alone.
[The others surprised and amused. The teacher walks in.]

Mrs Peters
What’s going on here?

Rachel
We were just having a bit of a laugh and Dave suddenly lost the plot.

Andy
Yeah, we were just trying to find out where he’s been while he’s been skiving. [They giggle.]

Mrs Peters
Sit down and be quiet. Dave, can I tell them? [Dave nods.] Dave hasn’t been in because his father died last week.
[Freeze frame at this point – the actors should stay still and in role for part two.]

> Part two (optional)
Narrator
[Ask the audience for ideas on how the characters are feeling by asking the following three questions. There are possible responses listed below each question should you need to guide students. Alternatively, ask the questions and allow students time to reflect, rather than asking for responses.]

How do you think the four characters are feeling now? Why?

Rachel and Andy
> embarrassed because they teased Dave
> sad that Dave has lost his dad
> shocked because they didn’t know this had happened.

Mrs Peters
> upset because she didn’t prevent the others from putting Dave on the spot
> unsure how to handle this situation.

Dave
> angry because he was put on the spot
> embarrassed because he doesn’t want people feeling sorry for him
> numb because he is in shock and can’t yet understand that his dad is dead
> lonely because he doesn’t know how to talk to people about it.

Why didn’t Dave’s friends know that his dad had died?

> They assumed he was ill or on holiday – someone dying is unusual.
> Dave didn’t know how to tell them.
> The teacher didn’t know if it was OK for her to tell Dave’s friends.

> Part three
Narrator
Let’s find out what the four characters really thought and felt.

[The actors are still in freeze frame. One by one, they get up and take a few steps forward to stand closer to the audience while they talk.]

Andy
My name is Andy. I’ve known Dave since we were little. I can’t believe that his dad is dead – I saw Dave at the party on Saturday and he seemed completely normal. I don’t get it – why didn’t he say something?

Last year, when my dog, Tiger, died. I was really down for a long time, and I still miss him. But people would probably think I was stupid if they knew that. It’s not like a dog is a person, is it? Although he really was my best friend.

I hope Dave goes to his dad’s funeral – I think it will make him feel better. And I’m going to try to be a good mate to him now, because in a way I know what grief feels like.

Rachel
I’m Rachel. I went out with Dave for a while and we’re still good mates. I don’t understand why he didn’t call me, or why the teacher didn’t tell us what had happened? Then maybe I could have given Dave a big hug and told him that I’m here for him if he wants to talk. I feel so stupid for joking that he’d been skiving.

How do you react when someone tells you something like this? He seems so angry and closed up. I really want to help, but what if he doesn’t want me to? I can’t imagine Dave crying, but I wouldn’t mind if he did.

I suppose I could ask Dave if I can do something to help, but maybe he’ll just tell me to back off, and then I’ll get upset. But I suppose that’s nothing compared to how he’s feeling now – he must feel really lost and alone.

Mrs Peters
I’m Dave’s teacher, Mrs Peters. I feel like a complete failure. Why didn’t I ask another teacher how to handle this situation? I just felt so confused when Dave’s mum called to let me know about his dad. It was as if everything that happened when my husband died came flooding back. He was ill for a long time, and I knew deep down that he was dying. But it was as if I had to pretend that he wasn’t, just to keep going.

When the hospital called to say he was dead I was sitting at the same desk, holding the same phone as when Dave’s mum called. It’s a long time ago now and I feel like I’ve come out the other side and done most of my grieving. But in a way you never stop grieving completely.

Maybe I should tell Dave that the grief does get easier, slowly, even though you sometimes think it never will. When you think of your loved one it hurts just as much as it always did, but as time passes you think of it less and less often.

Dave
I really wish my dad was here right now – he would have known what to say. I don’t really want to be here, but I don’t want to be at home either. Here everyone’s looking at me and at home, I keep forgetting that Dad won’t just suddenly walk through the door as usual.

Why did my dad have to die? I don’t get it – it’s not fair. I want to run away from this stupid situation but wherever I go it won’t change what’s happened.

I went to a party on Saturday just to forget about stuff. For a little while everything felt normal. But then I remembered and I felt so guilty that I was out partying when my dad’s dead. Everyone probably thinks I’m weird for going out just after my dad died. But I just have to do what feels right for me.

> Part four (optional)
Narrator
[Ask students for their responses to these discussion points. Again, there are ideas listed for guidance or you may prefer to ask the questions and simply leave students to reflect.]

Why is it so difficult to talk about it when somebody has died?

> it’s upsetting
> many people fear death and prefer not to talk about it – it’s taboo
> people don’t want to pry or remind someone of the bad thing that has happened.

Is it important to talk about death when it happens? Why/why not?

> bereaved people need support and talking is one way of showing support
> keeping it all in can make you feel worse
> talking can feel good because you remember what the dead person was like
> talking about death can make it seem less frightening

> it’s private
> it’s difficult to know what to say
> people fear saying ‘the wrong thing’ and upsetting the person more.

End of performance

Add-ons

Preparation add-on

Use part four of the performance to discuss death and bereavement with the group who will be performing the assembly. Note students’ ideas on the board. Then read through the performance from the start and ask students if they want to add to or change their initial ideas.

Ask them to think about the characters of Dave and Mrs Peters. Based on the information in the script, imagine what they would say in response to the questions in part 4.

Drama add-on

Look again at part one of the performance. Discuss how the situation could have been handled better by the characters. Try to improvise a revised, improved scene. Get the rest of the group to direct the actors on stage throughout the scene, telling them what to do and say. Or ask students to write a revised script.

Discussion add-on

Death is often called a taboo subject. Try to break the taboo by encouraging students to ask questions about death and grieving and explore possible answers.

Start with questions that might arise from the performance. For example, why did Dave decide to go to a party just after his dad had died? And why did Mrs Peters feel so confused when Dave’s mother called?

Encourage students to ask their own questions. You could do this by asking students for anonymous questions for discussion as a group.

If students want more information, you could send them off to the websites mentioned in the ten-minute briefing to research particular questions and feed back to the group.

Follow-up activities

Stages of bereavement follow-up

Everyone will experience death and grief at some point in their lives. Understanding bereavement as a process, or journey, might help students when they or someone they know experience it.

Discuss what bereavement might feel like at first, and how it might change over time. Does the way the death occurred (for example, long-term illness, a traffic accident), who died (child, partner, grandparent, pet) and who was left behind (young person, older person) make a difference?

Think about feelings such as denial, guilt, anger, numbness, loneliness, longing, acceptance, peace, memories. At what stage might these feelings occur? Is it possible to feel happy and have fun sometimes, even if someone you love has just died? And why do feelings change?

Discuss the fact that not everyone feels terribly sad or cries all the time at first. Is time always a great healer, or can grief get worse with time? Do things like talking to a supportive friend or expressing your feelings in other ways make a difference to how you deal with bereavement?

For more information, ask students to explore www.winstonswish.org.uk/foryoungpeople/ask or compile some of the information for students to read.

Story follow-up

Divide students into small groups. Ask each group to write and draw a cartoon-style story about a character that has been bereaved. Give each group a scenario, or get them to come up with one themselves. Make sure the different scenarios include a variation of ages and types of bereavement.

Ask the group to imagine this person from the point when their loved one died to the point when their life returns to normal. What feelings did they experience along the way? What made them feel better/worse? Why did they start feeling better? Show their thoughts and feelings through thought or speech bubbles.

Ask each group to talk the others through their cartoon. Discuss the stories and what they say about bereavement. In what ways were the stories similar/different?

Poetry follow-up

Board blast words and images that you associate with death and grieving. Explore associations to feelings and moods, colours, sounds, etc. For inspiration, read the poem below. Discuss the images and colours the writer uses to express her feelings.

Death, just look what you’ve done,
You’ve made the white sand brown,
You’ve turned the white wind grey,
You’ve made the coloured shells blue,
You’ve made the blue sky black,
Death, you’ve turned the hands of time too fast.

by Pandora Anna Haydon, Year 6

Use the board blast to help students write their own poems. Read out or display some of the poems and discuss the words and images they include. How do the poems make you feel? How did it feel to write them?

Art follow-up

Adapt the poetry add-on to incorporate the words and images into photographs or artwork. Display students’ artwork alongside the poems to create an exhibition which will trigger further discussion of the topic in school.