Reflect: questions to help you understand yourself, your beliefs and your biases
We’re very good at spotting bias in someone else; it’s very hard to spot bias in ourselves.
Olaf Borghi, researcher at Royal Holloway, University of London
Bridge building starts with each of us.
Understanding our own needs – and the needs of others – can be the most impactful starting point to finding common ground and building a more connected community.
This journey of self-discovery is personal. People reflect in different ways; you might sit with a notebook, or go for a walk. Choose what works best for you! We recommend taking at least 15 minutes to think through the topics and questions below.
Exploring what division looks and feels like
Why is this important? Our feelings of division are often shaped and intensified by what we hear in the news and on social media. But in Jake Puddle’s research for British Future, 69% of people felt that their local area is "a place where people from different backgrounds get on well together".
So, why doesn’t it always feel that way?
How? Ask yourself these questions to explore your own thoughts and experiences:
- What brought you to this podcast?
- Why is this topic important to you?
- Thinking about your local community, does it feel more or less divided than society at a national level?
- Has your community become more or less connected over time?
- How often do you connect with people from different backgrounds?
- What might encourage you, or people you know, to get more involved in community life?
Understanding our beliefs and how they are influenced
Why is this important? Across the series, our experts talk about the power of self-reflection and importance of understanding where all beliefs come from.
How? Take some time to consider your own views on the issues that matter to you, and how these have been shaped.
It can be helpful to think about something you are passionate about and work backwards to understand why.
- Why does this belief feel important?
- How would you feel if someone challenged it?
- Are your beliefs built more on facts or emotions?
- How do you decide whether information is trustworthy or not?
- How often do you encounter people who disagree with that opinion?
Paying attention to your response to conflict
Why is this important? We can’t live in a society where everyone agrees. Instead, we should focus on how we respond to conflict.
In episode three, our expert Gabrielle Rifkind shared her experience as an international conflict mediator: to resolve conflict, you must engage with everybody, and understand everybody's story.
How? Cast your mind back to a conversation that felt difficult or confrontational, and think about:
- What’s your natural reaction to conflict? Do you instinctively avoid it, back down, or antagonise?
- What was happening below the surface that may have impacted your emptions? Did you feel defensive, insulted, or misheard?
- Would an alternative outcome have been preferable, or even possible?
- In disagreements, do you ask questions before stating an opinion?
- Beneath their position, what were the other person’s underlying needs?
Ready to take the next step? Read our other guides for more tips and strategies from our Bridging Divides experts.
Talk: strategies for navigating difficult conversations
Act: practical tips for building a more connected community