Skip to main content
British Red Cross
DONATE
  • Back
  • Get help
    • Get help
    • Coronavirus
    • Hire a wheelchair
    • Borrow a commode
    • Support at home
    • Help with loneliness
    • Find missing family
    • Help for refugees
    • Help for young refugees
    • Help with money problems
    • Prepare for emergencies
    • Help for victims of terrorism abroad
  • Get involved
    • Get involved
    • Donate
    • Volunteer
    • Fundraising and events
    • Partner with us
    • Coronavirus
    • Teaching resources
    • Jobs
  • First aid
    • First aid
    • Learn first aid skills
    • Baby and child first aid
    • Do a first aid course
    • Find a first aid venue
    • Teach first aid
    • Buy a first aid kit
  • About us
    • About us
    • What we do
    • How we're run
    • What we stand for
    • News
    • Our history
    • Contact us
  • Shop
    • Shop
    • Find a charity shop
    • Donate goods
    • Volunteer in our shops
    • Furniture and electrics
    • Independent living products
    • Books
    • Wedding dresses
    • Vintage and designer clothes
    • Gift shop
    • Visit our eBay shop
    • Our ASOS vintage shop
  • Stories
    • Stories
    • Health and social care
    • Migration and displacement
    • Disasters and emergencies
    • Our Movement

How to listen with kindness to someone seeking support

Some tips from our psychosocial support team on lending an ear to a person who is struggling

No one has been unaffected by the Covid-19 crisis. Whether your friends and loved ones are key workers trying to keep safe at work, are working from home, or have been furloughed, you have likely been called upon at some point to lend an understanding ear.

It can sometimes be difficult to know what to say. Our support line team are experts in this area. Open seven days a week, the support line is staffed by a team of people trained by our psychosocial support team, who are ready to help with a whole range of problems. 

They have shared some advice on how to be there for a friend or loved one who is struggling with the current situation (or any difficult circumstance). Remember: while the virus keeps us apart, kindness will keep us together. 

Call our coronavirus support line on 0808 196 3651

First, the three signs to look for in a person who needs help:

1. Changes in behaviour: based on their usual personality, are they quieter or louder than usual?

2. Withdrawal – we all need a break from Zoom calls from time to time, but if you’ve not heard from someone, be sure to check in with a phone call.

3. Irritability – they may seem to be focusing on something petty, but that could indicate a need to talk about something else.

Next, some tips on how you can help.

 

Make time to talk

Keep it casual, but make sure you can give the person your attention and really listen to what they have to say, or want to talk about.

 

Ask them how they are

And then ask them again. Sometimes someone hasn’t been asked in a while. Or they may give an offhand, light-hearted answer to try and deflect the question – so ask them again in a different way to let them know you’re not just being polite.

 

Read between the lines

Is there something they’re not mentioning? What hints are they giving? Notice body language if you’re on a video call with them, or listen carefully down the phone.

 

Don’t try to have all the answers

We don’t expect others to have all the answers when we seek help, and you likely won’t have all the answers either, but that doesn’t matter. Sometimes people just need to talk, and are often the source of their own solutions if they have time to discuss their thoughts and reflect on their situation or needs.

 

Don’t turn the conversation to you

Though this is a shared situation in many ways, this is time for them to talk. Use empathy to show you understand without turning talk back to your own situation.

 

Don’t avoid tricky topics

… if that’s what they need to talk about. It can be uncomfortable but give them the space to speak and acknowledge them, and let them know that you’re there to listen to their worries.

 

Remember that uncertainty is hard

We can all Google instant answers, but right now we’re all living with uncertainty. Acknowledge this, and also focus on the things they can control, and what they can do about them, rather than on the things they have no power over.

 

Find an upside

Even if it seems silly, or small, try to find a positive together. It’s also good to remind them that this too shall pass, and that this situation will not be forever.

 

Be yourself!

Don’t worry about what you say: concentrate on really listening to and being there for the person you’re talking to. Even some easy conversation with a familiar voice might help them.

 

For more advice on easing stress and anxiety, take some time to look at our C.A.L.M.E.R. framework, also developed by our psychosocial support team, which can be passed on to others, or used for yourself 

UK Coronavirus Response Appeal

The coronavirus pandemic is the biggest health emergency of our time. With your help, we’ll continue to provide vital support to those worst affected by the outbreak, wherever the need is greatest.

DONATE

We use cookies to make your experience of our website better. Our cookies policy explains what cookies are and how we use them. Please indicate whether you consent to us using cookies.

Yes, I consent No, I want to find out more
  • CONTACT US
  • JOBS
  • SITEMAP
  • CYMRAEG
  • LOGIN

  • Terms and conditions
  • Privacy
  • Cookies
  • Modern slavery statement
  • Accessibility
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • YouTube
  • LinkedIn

©2021 British Red Cross The British Red Cross Society, incorporated by Royal Charter 1908, is a charity registered in England and Wales (220949), Scotland (SC037738) and Isle of Man (0752).

Registered with Fundraising Regulator